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  • Writer's pictureAnthony Dimitrion, LCSW, CST

Peeling Back the Layers of Narcissism Part 8: Recognizing Gaslighting & Manipulation



Ever felt like you're losing your grip on reality, questioning your own memories, or constantly apologizing for things you didn't do? Welcome to the twisted world of manipulation and gaslighting, the ultimate mind-bending rollercoaster that leaves you second-guessing everything.


What is Manipulation?


Manipulation refers to the act of influencing or controlling someone in a deceptive way. Manipulation is a tactic used by a narcissist to gain and maintain control, admiration, and validation. It is used to deflect accountability, avoid vulnerability, and protect their deep seeded insecurity.


What is Gaslighting?


The term "gaslighting" originates from a 1944 movie where a husband dims the gaslights and convinces his wife she's imagining things. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that narcissists use to make you doubt your own thoughts, feelings, and experiences.


The effects of gaslighting can include: anxiety, self-doubt, and a gnawing feeling that you can't trust your own instincts.


Combatting gaslighting can be challenging, but there are strategies to help you regain control and protect your mental well-being. Recognizing the signs is the first step to breaking free from the gaslighter's web. Here are some effective ways to stand up against gaslighting:


  1. Trust Your Instincts: Start by trusting your gut feelings. If something doesn't feel right or if you're being made to doubt yourself, acknowledge those feelings. Your intuition is a powerful tool.

  2. Maintain a Reality Journal: Keep a journal to document events, conversations, and your emotions. This written record can serve as a concrete reminder of your experiences, helping you counteract attempts to distort the truth.

  3. Seek Validation from Trusted Individuals: Talk to friends, family, or coworkers you trust about your experiences. Sharing your concerns with others can provide validation and an external perspective, affirming your reality.

  4. Educate Yourself: Learn about gaslighting and manipulation tactics. Understanding the patterns and techniques used by gaslighters can empower you to recognize when they're occurring.

  5. Set Clear Boundaries: Establish and communicate clear boundaries with the gaslighter. Let them know what behavior is unacceptable and be firm about maintaining those boundaries. Consistency is key.

  6. Limit Contact: If possible, minimize contact with the gaslighter. Distance yourself emotionally and physically to reduce the impact of their manipulation on your well-being.

  7. Seek Professional Support: Consider consulting with a mental health professional or therapist who can provide guidance and support. They can help you navigate the emotional toll of gaslighting and develop coping strategies.

  8. Practice Self-Care: Prioritize self-care activities to boost your mental and emotional resilience. This could include exercise, mindfulness, hobbies, or spending time with supportive friends and family.

  9. Confide in a Supportive Network: Build a support network of friends and family who understand the dynamics of gaslighting. Having a strong support system can provide encouragement and reinforcement during challenging times.

  10. Remain Empowered: Remind yourself of your strengths and achievements. Gaslighters aim to undermine your confidence, so focus on your capabilities and accomplishments to bolster your self-esteem.


Remember, combating gaslighting is a gradual process. Trust in your own reality, surround yourself with positive influences, and prioritize your mental health

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