Recovery for Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse
"Recovery is the freedom to make choices in your life that aren't determined by the abuse."
- Mike Lew, Victims No Longer
Narcissism has made its way into the pop-psychology and social media zeitgeist over the last several years. The often one-dimensional definition of narcissism as one with an overinflated ego reduces the label of narcissist to a simple "drag" or "critique". In reality, the emotional isolation, shame, anxiety, and at times outright terror that transpires in a family or relationship with a narcissist is much more egregious!
Living with a narcissistic parent can feel like living in an alternate reality. A reality where your wants, needs, ambitions, and perspective have little-to-no place for existence. Where you are forced to abandon your sense of self or risk admonishment, alienation, or shame from the narcissistic other. A reality that places the narcissists needs, beliefs, and desires above all else.
"Deciding to embark on your healing journey is a huge step toward finding your voice & untangling the traumatic web of narcissism!"
Your autonomy and right to self-agency deserve to be honored. The fact that you are seeking support is an act of self-agency and resiliency in and of itself!
The Many Faces of Narcissistic Abuse
Does this sound familiar to you?
A parent who showered you with love, attention, and affection when you were younger, then grew cold, invalidating, and critical as you grew older and became more independent.
A parent who made you feel guilty for expressing your own needs, wants, and desires.
A parent who often builds their self-worth up at the expense of putting others down.
A parent who suffocates you with their needs and expectations, but gives you breadcrumbs of support in return.
Manipulation of your words, feelings, or actions as a way to confuse you or get you to second guess yourself.
A parent with trouble empathizing and taking your perspective, yet often expects you to empathize and understand them.
If any of the above ring true for you, these can be signs of a parent or family member with narcissistic tendencies.
What is Your Specialty within the Narcissistic Trauma Field?
Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents, Siblings, or Family Members
I work primarily with adult children of narcissistic parents, siblings, and family members who are looking to untangle the complexities of their childhood experiences and present-day family dynamics. Together we explore how to navigate relationships with narcissistic family members in a way that honors your authenticity and self-agency.
For more information on treatment for Adult Children of Narcissistic and Emotionally Immature Parents click here.
My practice is affirming of sexuality, gender, and relationship diversity.
How Can Attachment-Informed Psychotherapy Help?
Integrating relational neuroscience (attachment neuroscience), emotionally-focused therapy, and somatic understanding of the mind-body connection, we will work together to understand how your past experiences have had an impact throughout your personal, social-relational, and internal life. Together, we will process the influence your relationship with a narcissist has had on your perceptions of self and relationships with others.
As we untangle your reality from the distorted reality forced upon you by the narcissistic other, we can begin to identify ways of reclaiming your sense of self that feel right, authentic, and empowering for you!
Tools fostered throughout our sessions include: self-advocacy, self-compassion, enhancing flexible thinking, expanding window of tolerance (increasing ability to safely tolerate certain emotions, physiological sensations, memories, etc.), resiliency strengthening, and somatic-affective awareness and regulation (increase in awareness of emotions, their body-based felt sense, and nervous system regulation), boundary-setting skills.
What Makes You Different from Other Trauma Therapists in Bergen County, New Jersey?
As an attachment-informed trauma therapist, I bring a wealth of expertise shaped by extensive post-graduate training in attachment theory, child development, human sexuality, complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD), dissociation, and relational neuroscience. In addition, I have engaged in advanced education on the complexities of narcissistic family dynamics and narcissistic abuse, receiving clinical consultation with Dr. Karyl McBride, author of Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers.
In my practice, I integrate trauma and attachment informed modalities Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP), Trauma Informed Stabilization Treatment (TIST), and Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS). My dedication to staying at the forefront of trauma treatment is evident through ongoing advanced study and clinical consultation with experts such as Kathy Steele, MS, CN, APRN, co-author of Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation and Janina Fisher, PhD, author of Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors.
My qualifications extend to specific certifications, notably as an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist specializing in childhood sexual abuse and incest. I also hold the designation of ACNP Certified Clinical Narcissistic Abuse Therapist.
My journey as a therapist is deeply personal, informed by my own experiences as a survivor of childhood trauma and parental narcissism. This lived experience fuels my empathy and understanding as I navigate both my clients' healing paths and my own ongoing recovery journey.
For additional resources on narcissism and the narcissistic family system, check out my entire series on Peeling Back the Layers of Narcissism here.