Exploring your wildest fantasies with your partner can be both exciting and vulnerable. Below is a summary of Social Psychologist and Human Sexuality expert Dr. Justin Lehmiller's recent vlog post on how to share your sexual fantasies with your partner. Tell me What You Want is Dr. Lehmiller's newest book all about his study related to sexual fantasies.
1) Start by asking yourself: How do I feel about my sexual fantasies? If you are struggling with accepting your own sexual fantasies, then now may not be the best time to share them with your partner. Review Tell Me What You Want, speak to a therapist or coach, open up and explore with your trusted friends.
2) When you feel comfortable sharing, start with sharing tamer fantasies, then get more adventurous/kinky as you and your partner become more comfortable communicating your desires.
3) Explain to your partner how they play or can play a central role in these fantasies to help them feel involved and included in the fantasy.
4) Share fantasy when you and your partner are already in a state in sexual arousal. Studies show that when you are in a state of sexual arousal your disgust response is lower, making you more open to trying newer things.
5) Make fantasy sharing an ongoing exploration with your partner.
6) My personal tip. Be open to your partner's fantasy. If you engage in their fantasy they may be more likely to engage in yours.